Houston...you ROCK!

We all have them...friends who say they will pull through for you, but when push comes to shove, the request, favor and/or "hook up" ultimately disintegrates into excuses...to avoid an awkward friendship moment the person requesting the favor politely forgets and said friend continues to push off the inevitable...it just ain't gonna happen.

Not this time.

Four years ago I sat down with my friends Yvonne and Randy during a conference in Dallas, TX. They invited me to their room for some wine and cheese, and I arrived with The Ex-Wives' Guide to Divorce proposal in hand. Our book was in the beginning stages and I knew they would give me honest feedback.

After reading through it, Randy's exact words were, "This is awesome. Call me when you get published. I'll hook you up in Houston."

Fast forward four years. The Ex-Wives' Guide to Divorce launched August 16, 2016. My call to Randy went something like this: "Randy...hey, it's Holiday. Our book is out. I'm pulling the favor card."

Randy did not disappoint. Flights were booked, appearances on multiple television spots, magazine interviews and local bookstore appearances were scheduled. Not only that but his amazing wife Yvonne escorted us around town in her PINK Escalade. Yes, I said PINK.

on the plane...Valerie was rockin' the hat :)

Yvonne and Randy opened their home and rearranged their lives for us for 3 days. They chauffeured us around Houston at ungodly hours of the morning. They worked countless hours to make sure this trip would be seamless AND beneficial. Valerie and I were blown away by their generosity. These people are the REAL DEAL.

Our trip to Houston was surreal. This was our first taste of the media, especially with our exciting television debut on the Great Day Houston show. Deborah Duncan was a dream host, engaging with us AND extending our time spot on the show. As Valerie and I were sitting side by side in our chairs on set we glanced at each other and smiled...this was the moment we had been waiting for. Our chance to share The Ex-Wives' Guide to Divorce with the world (okay...it was only Houston, but still...we were seriously excited!). As chance would have it, we met some fellow ex-wives in the green room who were also part of the show...proof that we aren't the only ex-wives who are also friends.

Green Room selfie!

LIVE on the air!

After the show Deborah came to the green room to chat with us...she is the coolest chick ever!

Following Great Day Houston we were whisked away to Fox News Channel 26. Our interview was fast and furious, and we got a taste of what a real news room was like.

We {heart} Fox News!

We rushed out of the newsroom and headed to a local Starbucks to meet the beautiful Maggie Gordon, a reporter for the Houston Chronicle. Our interview with Maggie lasted a little over an hour and then we were off again.

We ended the day with a book signing/appearance at the River Oaks Barnes and Noble. We signed books, took pictures, and even enjoyed a chocolate croissant on the house. Ahhhh...the perks of being published authors : )

Autographing copies...dream come true!

Pic for our goal posters...Bestseller wall!

On Friday we visited the Lance Roberts Show on iHeart Radio, and let's just say we didn't even need coffee to enjoy their company at 5am! We had a blast sitting in studio, chatting and having a ball with these guys...we LOVED being on radio (the no-makeup or fancy outfit was also a plus seeing how we were basically sleepwalking).

After the radio show we headed over to the River Oaks Bookstore. Can I just say...this was the GREATEST. BOOKSTORE. EVER. Charming, quaint, and absolutely perfect in every way (just like the one from the movie You've Got Mail with Meg Ryan). The owner of 44 years, Jeanne, welcomed us from her rocking chair, offered cookies and refreshments, and showed us to a table they had so graciously prepared with stacks of our books, ready to sign and sell. Valerie and I visited with guests who arrived for pictures and autographs. We were mesmerized by Jeanne and her ability to welcome each guest by name, personally recommending books for them based on their previous purchases.

hanging with Yvonne before our book signing

We wrapped the day up with a bow, having a celebratory dinner on the deck of a fabulous restaurant, ordering "one of everything"...it was the perfect way to end a perfect day.

On Saturday we were guests on Randy's radio show, Gardenline. By 6am we were on-air, taking questions from call-in guests and dishing out advice for those facing the big D.

Randy in his element!

We LOVE iheartradio!

The trip to Houston was a whirlwind...we learned so much on this first leg of our media tour...most of all, we are thankful for incredible friends who made it HAPPEN. So to Yvonne and Randy...THANK YOU! We know this is just the beginning of our journey...we are so grateful!

xo Holiday & Valerie
P.S. Click here to watch our Great Day Houston television interview with Deborah Duncan!

An open letter to Angelina Jolie Voight Miller Thornton Pitt

An open letter to Angelina Jolie Voight Miller Thornton Pitt:

Hi Angelina.  You might not know me, but I’m Valerie, one of The Ex-Wives from the book The Ex-Wives’ Guides to Divorce. 

See I too have several last names thanks to marriage and ultimately divorce.  However all of my last names began with the same letter {Valerie Johnson Sanford Smith Shepherd} and yours did not.  So essentially I got to keep my monogrammed towels.  And you did not.  But you have an airplane and speak in front of UNICEF and raise 6 kids – so you might actually have the better end of that bargain when we get to Heaven.  Okay… if I get to Heaven.

My co-author Holiday and I really felt the need to write you, as fellow Ex-Wives’ and all.  Especially with you filing for divorce from the name that shall not be mentioned.  No, not Voldemort silly, we’ll just rhyme it for informational purposes for the rest of this letter.  Fad Sitt.

See, when you dated Fad Sitt for a decade and adopted / birthed / conjured up 6 beautiful little souls during your courtship we were rooting for you.  Family's come in all different shapes and sizes these days, and we're down with that.  As mothers ourselves we know what it’s like to take care of one or two children, so now factor in six and we just knew how bad you wanted to drink every night.  But it seems Fad Sitt was drinking all your alcohol.  Yikes.

So as you face the beginning stages of divorce here are our best pieces of advice 

that can be found in our book The Ex-Wives’ Guide to Divorce.   

We would love to send you a copy of our ultimate divorce organizer and planner personally, but we don’t know “your people”.  Shocker I know, especially since we just met Beyonce at iHeart radio in Houston on our media tour.   See our proof, I mean pic below.  Instead we’ll just give you the link here to our website and if you our your peeps email us we’ll be sure to pop one in the post to your new swank bachelorette / single mom of 6 pad in Malibu.  www.exwivesguide.com.

 

Traditionally some of our bestest advice contains nuggets like “Get your head out of the sand!”,  “Hiring an attorney is not an option if you have childrenssssss!!” {added 6 s’s for you on that one}, and “Develop a budget where you won’t have to depend on your soon-to-be Exes income!!!”.  But it appears you already have all of those handled.  And by handled, we mean bulldogging it by the horns, which is a cool new term we learned this week on our Houston, TX leg of our media tour.  Bulldogging is defined as:  “a rodeo event in which a horse-mounted rider chases a steer, drops from the horse to the steer, then wrestles the steer to the ground by grabbing its horns and pulling it off-balance so that it falls to the ground. The event carries a high risk of injury to the cowboy.”  Or in your case Angie… to the cowgirl.

But fear not cowgirl mommy of 6 little calves!!!  See below some of our best takeaways from our book The Ex-Wives’ Guide to Divorce.

 TOP 5 PIECES OF ADVICE FOR ANGELA JOLIE VOIGHT MILLER THORNTON PITT:

1.     Be Better, Not Bitter.  Yes, you read that right.  It is sooooo easy to go down the bitter HOV speedlane.  But don’t.  Please don’t.  If you don’t, we know all of America will break back out the “Team Angie” and "Team Jolie" t-shirts tucked away in their memory chests next to the smashed up Friends episode VCR tape.  We know you’re pissed about what happened on the plane.  We know you want to kick him where it counts because of his rumored marital vow breaking behaviors.  But don’t.  Please don’t.  Focus on being and creating a BETTER you {and world} instead of focusing on him.  Highlight and share what you’re doing to make lemonade out of lemons instead of chucking yellow citrus at him so he can suck it via the press.  Your future self will thank you for it.

2.     Surround yourself with people that will help you navigate the shark infested waters of divorce and get you to safety.  Avoid those who will poke holes in your lifeboat and try to drown you.  Now more than ever you will need your friends who have your back.  Or Assistants.  Or whatever fancy people have.  In our chapter “Choose Your Crew” we highlight the type of friends you will need to lean on:  Fun Friend, Safe House Friend, Straight Shooter Friend, Listener Friend, and last but not least an In The Weeds Friend.  All of these type of friends will help bring something to the double leafed table {you know with all the kids you have}.  Your Straight Shooter Friend “will not only let you know when you’re heading for a ride on the Crazy Train, but will slap the ticket out of your hand and drag you out of the station.”  Something tells us you will definitely need one of these friends.  And if you're taking applications we would like to apply.

3.     DON’T drag your children into your feelings of anger.  Keep those mama bear instincts intact and protect your kidssssss.  Trust us, we know there will be a time when you’re flying in a top hair dresser to get you all gussied up for some World Relief Fund banquet honoring you, and Fad Sitt will pick up the “6 Pack” a little over 3 hours late, speeding up to the security iron gate call box, on a freaking motorcycle instead of the 8 now 7 passenger van like he should be.  You’ll want to strangle him.  You’ll want to break out the ol’ vile of blood round your neck and add a little more to it.  All in front of the “6 Pack” Fad Sitt might or might not have already drank.  But don’t do it Girlfriend.  Just call Enterprise (they rent vans you know!),  and they’ll drop it off in an hour flat.  We’re sure the kids would be happy to just play Ultimate Frisbee {7 player game} on your sprawling front lawn until it shows up.  And you can high tail it out the minute your security squad frisks him and gives him a breathalyzer to get your glam on instead of making your children feel an ounce of your frustration.

4.     Divorce is a legal transaction, not an emotional transaction.  It is to be treated like a business, not like a fresh perfectly ripe for a decade of highlights Jerry Springer episode.  You wouldn’t show up to a board meeting with high ranking International delegates crying or screaming or dropping A-bomb worthy shockers of what is going on in your personal life with the sole intention of destroying everything and anything in your path.  Endless clips of he said she said is not allowed in the board room {or in people’s living rooms}.  Rather, you would walk in like the #girlboss that you are, sophisticated, composed, and focused on improving your life and the lives of others {aka the “6 Pack”} and show that not only do you and your people have their S#%T together, but you mean biz’ness.  Save the emotions for when you’re back at the Bachelorette / Single Mom of Six Malibu Barbie Pad.  Then you can lose it behind closed doors in the panic room or something, anything away from the kids.  Or you could come to Atlanta for a weekend and we promise to make sure you have the bestest ever GNO where you can vent about Fad Sitt, and we’ll make voodoo dolls of him, and create a girl power throughout divorce mix CD for you with a custom circle label, and we’ll all wake up with Taco Bell wrappers on our nightstands {okay that might just be us} because what happens in the ATL stays in the ATL Angie!

5.     Keep your expectations in check.  Yes you actually have the money to drag this out and make life h-e-double hockey sticks for Fad Sitt.  But although he might or might not have made some bad parenting choices, do you really deep down inside feel he is of clear and immanent danger to the kids?  We’re not saying just shrug and say, o well, let’s just hope he lays off the “booze, sex, rock and roll baby - yeah!!!” while with our children.  Rather we are saying set and enforce realistic boundaries, but think ten years from now will our kids benefit or bereave not having their father in their life while growing up.  {AKA massive counseling bills in the future x 6}

We really do wish you, and any woman facing something as difficult as a divorce the happily ever after most of us are eternally in search of.  And just remember…  This too shall pass.

xo, Love The Ex-Wives'

Full Circle...and back again.

"Could you please address these books to Sarah and Melissa? One of them is going through a divorce, and the other one is about to, she just doesn't know it yet..."

I sat at the table, preparing to sign these books, when it hit me like a train. I had goosebumps, my eyes flooded with tears, and a wave of gratitude washed over me. In that moment I realized our journey had come full circle...the words we had written had the potential to change someone's life. To encourage them, to inspire them, and to give them the strength they need to live each day, amidst divorce, heartbroken and filled with fear. The words written from our hearts had power.

Oprah may have called this an "ah-ha" moment...I have since named it a "Thank you, God" moment. Thank you, God, for giving me the opportunity to share my story, and most of all, use my experiences as a platform for encouraging other women.

Last week I got a call from a friend of a friend. I have only met this woman twice, so it was a surprise to get a call from her. After the small talk she revealed her real reason for contacting me. She had just been served with divorce papers from her husband of 19 years. She was heartbroken, terrified, and defeated. "I have tried everything, Holiday, and I just don't know what else to do...He wants nothing to do with me, he won't even talk to me, and he has had a girlfriend for 4 years. I don't want a divorce...I just can't imagine my life without him."

Tears were flowing. For both of us.

As I listened to her story, my heart sank. While I couldn't relate to all of the details of her situation, I knew her feelings were real. The fear in her voice, her unconditional love for her husband (even knowing he has a girlfriend...WHAT?!?!) She was a fighter. She didn't want to give up.

"Holiday, I just feel like I'm in the twilight zone... I'm reading your book and I feel like I'm stuck in the middle of a nightmare, like I will wake up and it will all be over. I just can't believe this is happening to me...what am I going to do?!"

I could relate. There were several times during the process of my divorce I felt the same exact way.
To make matters worse, every book I attempted to read to "help" me figure things out was depressing and nearly impossible to understand (hence why we wrote The Ex-Wives' Guide to Divorce).


During our conversation I felt convicted to share some truths with her. I also gave her some homework. She needed to seek professional counseling and hire an attorney. She needed to put her big girl panties on and get her emotions in check. She needed to surround herself with people who love her. She needed to reconnect with her faith, and allow God's grace to cover her.

Friends, we won't always have the answers or the solutions...but we will always have each other. As Ex-Wives' it is our responsibility to love each other, encourage each other, and remind each other there can be light at the end of a very dark tunnel.

Our experiences in this life are moments we collect over time. Regardless of the paths we choose these moments come full circle. While the pain of divorce may never go away, we can embrace the journey and use it for good...till death do we part.

Why Write A Divorce Planner? {With Your Exes Ex…}

Writing a book is wonderful – putting something out there that is thought provoking, thought releasing, thought anything is a dream come true for any writer at heart.  Now combine all of that and add in a dash of “much needed” and you have The Ex-Wives’ Guide to Divorce.

Exes to the same man, both Valerie Shepherd and Holiday Miller knew there was a hole in the market despite there being a huge need.

Valerie distinctly remembers the first time she googled “Divorce Planner Book”.  She was starting the proceedings of divorce and felt beyond lost.  And we all know hell hath no fury like a woman who doesn’t know what comes next…  Because she trusted her wedding planner to get her down the aisle, she thought she would again find a tool to clue her into everything she needed to prepare, keep her on task, fill her in on what to expect, and give tips on how to survive the emotional roller coaster lying ahead this time for divorce.

And you know what?  Hardly any results surfaced for an actual book.   

Almost nada, 

nilch, 

none.

All of these advertisements popped up for professional Divorce Planners, divorce party planners {which of course she saved that link}, but no real results for an actual divorce planner book. 

So then she popped on over to Amazon thinking for sure she would find hundreds of divorce planners appearing page after page in eye popping colored book jacket photos on the screen in front of her.  But again, about a handful of actual divorce planners written by attorneys and psychologists in a legal and factual / depressing / I’m going to eat another pint of ice-cream tone.   

Not one shiny happy cute cover so I might actually want to read this planner 

by somebody who has been through it and survived divorce and is here to help you as well.   

Yes, we’re currently looking into getting a TM on that phrase. 

Although planning for divorce would not be as happy and shiny as a wedding planner, it would certainly help any woman get to a happier and shinier future for her about to be single self if she could just get organized. 

So then Valerie typed in the search bar on Amazon Wedding Planners, just out of curiosity.  And guess what…  Over 16,000 results populated!!!  Yes, divorce planner yielded about 70 of which maybe 4 or 5 were actual divorce planners / organizers and wedding planner produced over 16,000 books in print.  Something had to be off here.

Fast forward a few months to when Valerie met Holiday {her Exes soon-to-be Ex #2} and Holiday noticed Valerie had made her own binders just as she did to help navigate divorce.  This got the two Ex-Wives’ thinking.  Why was there nothing out there for women facing, contemplating, entering, or in the middle of divorce?  Where was this missing MUCH NEEDED tool?!? 

Flash forward a few months even further to a beach trip the two of us took with the kiddos {Valerie’s son and Holiday’s two girls}.  One fateful night during our quick getaway we started talking about how far we had both come thanks to the help of each other, and the planners we essentially made ourselves.  And eureka!!!  The question came quickly…   

Why don’t we write and create  

the book we wish we both had during our divorces 

to help women successfully navigate divorce?

Call it paying it forward.  Call it making lemonade out of lemons.   Call it whatever you want to call it but we both suddenly felt charged to help the millions of women out there that deserved not only a friend to hold their hand during this tough time, but guide them down the path to a successful divorce.  And if it saves women some time, money, or sanity while putting a smile on their face…  Well then we will consider it a huge success.

xo, V and H

When life gives you lemons...you should totally have a party!

There are 3 words that come to mind when I think of this past week.

Dream. Come. True.

For four years Valerie and I have poured our hearts into our book, The Ex-Wives’ Guide to Divorce. After years of writing, editing, victories, set- backs, and everything in between, we finally held the finished product in our hands. On Tuesday, August 18^th the Ex-Wives’ Guide to Divorce was officially released to the entire world. Clearly this called for a celebration.

We met in the Barnes and Noble parking lot, popped a bottle of champagne (side note:  Valerie almost blinded me as the cork went flying into the air and proceeded to hit a parked car), and toasted each other with a matching set of kiddie cups. Thanks to iPhone video we can relive this hilarious memory as often  as we’d like.

Our adventure in Barnes and Noble that day was surreal- thank you Nicole for snapping these shots of us!

Hello, Barnes & Noble...here we come!

Visualizing (and crossing our fingers!) we will be on the BEST SELLERS shelf soon!

 

The celebration continued on Thursday at our official launch party, because if you know Valerie and I you know we will ALWAYS find a reason to throw a party. 

The theme? Turning lemons into lemonade!

Thanks to Valerie’s INCREDIBLE AMAZING AND CRAZY GENEROUS FRIENDS (I really could go on and on about how awesome they are), we were able to host an over-the-top launch party at Naylor Hall in downtown Roswell. I have goosebumps just thinking about the time, money, and HEART that went into this party. Sunny, there are absolutely no words to describe how thankful we are for you and your generous gift. We are forever grateful to you.

Beautiful Venue? Check! (Sunny and the Naylor Hall crew…THANK YOU!)

Valerie and Sunny sporting their super cute lemon aprons

Open Bar? Check! (Thanks to Sunny we even had a signature Ex-Wives’ cocktail… pink lemonade with a twist, of course)

Awesome Bartender with a heavy hand? Check! (Thanks Brandon)

DJ? Check! (Thank you Hal Mealor from Halcodj.com)

Gorgeous (and delicious) Cake? Check! (Thank you Sweet Caroline’s Cakes)

 

Yes that is a CAKE! Amazing, huh?

Professional Photographer to save us from only having iPhone pics? Check! (Thank you Nicole from Nicole Stephens Photography)

Note: the pillows in the background say "Happily Ever After"...we couldn't agree more!

Yep, we even gave away sunglasses...because girlfriend, your future is BRIGHT!

 We had a beautiful party but the truth is this: without YOU this party would have meant nothing.

You, our readers, our fans, our biggest supporters…Our friends who drove hours and hours, hopped on planes, paid babysitters, left work early, dragged your kids along because your sitters cancelled, rearranged your entire day just so you could be there for us, showed up early to help set up (ASHLEY!), and stayed until the last piece of trash was picked up…YOU, our friends who have supported us from the very beginning, breathing belief into our dream and encouraging us when we wanted to give up. YOU, our friends who have loved us unconditionally no matter how crazy we get, no matter how close to the cliff we get, you always seem to walk us off. YOU, our friends, who finally stopped asking, “So when’s the book coming out?” because you knew it was eventually going to happen and TODAY WAS FINALLY THAT DAY.

Thank YOU for celebrating this victory with us. It meant the world to us to have all of you there, and for those that weren’t able to make it, we know you were there in spirit.

Toward the end of the evening Valerie and I grabbed the mic and dedicated a toast to our guests. We also took a minute to honor, compliment, and thank each other. Valerie’s words filled my heart with love, and in that moment it hit me like a ton of bricks. God had placed this woman in my path for such a specific purpose. Yes, we had both been dealt a serious bag of lemons, but instead of wallowing in the sour we came together and made some seriously sweet lemonade. As I stood next to her I did my best to hold back the tears. Because although part of me felt like this day was symbolic of an “end”, I know in my heart this is just the beginning.

So today we raise our glasses, filled to the brim with sweet lemonade, and toast each other. To the good, the bad, and the really sour lemons…the Ex-Wives’ adventure has just begun.

xoxo Holiday

Launch Week Back to the Look in her Eyes

This week is a big week for us Ex-Wives.  

It's finally here!!!  8.16.16 the OFFICIAL RELEASE DATE OF OUR BOOK
The Ex-Wives Guide to Divorce!!!

Wait... let's rephrase that - LAUNCH WEEK OF OUR BOOK!!!  

Wait one more time... FOUR LONG YEARS OF OUR HARD WORK, UNLIKELY FRIENDSHIP, TEARS, FEARS, AND MISTAKES IN OUR PAST WILL FINALLY BE IN PRINT AND RELEASED TO ALL OF YOU IN AN EFFORT TO HELP YOU NOT MAKE {HOPEFULLY} 

THE SAME MISTAKES WE DID!!!  

{Hard to squeeze that one in a tag line but probably the most accurate.}

I confided to Holiday that I was finding everything pretty hard emotionally with getting ready for our release.  Which is crazy, because you'd think I'd be stretched out relaxing in a luxe cabana on the turquoise blue beach found only on Cloud 9 of course, with my name on the back printed in gold cursive reserved for the ENTIRE month.

However I'm feeling roller coaster emotions mostly like when I was getting divorced.  Where one day you wake up on top of the world!  And you almost high five yourself because damn girl you're strong and resilient and you did it!!  Like the feeling you get when running through a field of fresh daisies on a perfect spring morning in this seasons must have Anthropologie dress!!!  {I have never done this but could only imagine it would be the most ultimate feeling in the world akin to celebrating a big accomplishment.}

And then BOOM.  

Something catapults you emotionally back to where it all started.  

Like needing to find pictures in your 10,000+ library of photos 

around when you and your co-author first connected.  

A seemingly should be fun task that has you in tears and wanting to vomit 

because naturally you start looking at all the other pictures around that time. 

And by around that time I mean during our divorces.

As I clicked my left arrow and right arrow slowly across my events in iPhoto - I couldn't help but feel a giant knot in my stomach.

Sure there were sprinklings of good memories, but overlaying the happy were also the many"bad memories" that only I could or would be able to recognize.  From the outside these perfectly filtered captured moment appeared like life was normal as usual.

That picture of my son sitting in my lap at Thanksgiving during my divorce?  Well as I choked back delicious turkey and not so delicious tears at my sister's neighbors house, what you don't "see" or know is my son was technically supposed to be with my Ex.  But he was with me, and his Dad was running very late, oh and I threw up a couple times that day because I was just a little upset to put it mildly.  

And that picture of me with Holiday and our kiddos on a Memorial Day trip to Destin on the beach?  

Well although we look incredibly happy, and the kids were grinning ear to ear {except during nap or bed time, that was mostly not happy} and we really were having a super time, neither one of us had ever dreamed our futures would hold trips without our children's fathers and us being divorced.

And although you don't "see" it - it showed. 

I think what saddened me the most, and regretting that I ate two lunches that day I had to dig up old photos this past week, was that I knew I had seen that look on Holiday's face before.   Looking like she's trying to have the time of her life but it's plain as day in her eyes...  that "It was supposed to be different" look.

And if I'm being honest, I had seen it long before our Memorial Day trip photos {where the idea for our much needed The Ex-Wives Guide to Divorce planner was born!}. The very first time she reached out to me on Facebook I noticed it. She and my Ex, her then husband, wanted to reach out and say hey because we had some mutual friends.  Being 7 months pregnant I was feeling the love everywhere - so normally I might not have said "Sure Ex husband and your 2nd wife who looks super nice and cool - let's connect!!!".

I remember quickly scanning those pictures Holiday had all over her FB wall, normally reserved for stalking an ex or his girlfriend or wife or whatever, but here mine was legit because we were actually FB "friends" and they initiated it!.  Their new amazing house, them on the same pontoon boat with my Ex's family I had been on just ten years before, their growing family with beautiful girls.  The pictures with Holiday and her girls were magazine worthy.  The picture with Holiday and our Ex though told a much different story.  At least to me.

Just like my many photos that seemed like everything was fine, I could see that LOOK in her eyes...

THAT ONLY A WOMAN WHO HAD BEEN THROUGH THE SAME THING 

OR HAD BEEN IN SIMILAR SITUATIONS UNDERSTOOD...

That look of I should be happy because I have the family I always wanted but this is not the life I think I should be living.  Things are not right.  Things are not as perfect as I'm pretending they are.  Things are not as they should be not just in my mind but in my heart.

But I'm going to smile, cradle my little girls, link my arm around my husband, and pretend it is.  

At least for this shiny happy picture.

So when Holiday finally reached out to me at the beginning of her divorce via Facebook message, saying I might be "the only person that might possibly understand what I'm going through", well I already understood.  And not just because I too, had divorced her husband.  But because I had witnessed for the couple years we had been Facebook friends the look in her eyes.

Other ex-wife or not, you NEVER want to see a wonderful woman go through pain, 

or lose the dream you know she had of having a forever family.  

Especially when you knew you lost yours as well.

Hopefully this week during the release of our book, we can start filtering and posting photos of two women who came together {despite an unlikely beginning} hoping to make a brighter future for not only ourselves, but for the many other women out there that are having to create a new vision of what their life will be.  Just like we did.

And if we just spare one of you from making mistakes or feeling unnecessary pain, 

while giving you a Girlfriend to have by your side,

well then we shall consider our book a success - New York Times best seller list or not.

{Although p.s.: We really hope it is!!!}

Love, Valerie {Ex-Wife #1}

ORDER YOUR COPY HERE!  https://www.amazon.com/Ex-Wives-Guide-Divorce-Everything-Heartache/dp/151070406X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1471301475&sr=8-1&keywords=ex+wives+guide+divorce

Meet the Ex-Wives!

Well, HELLO!

Over the past few years we have happily increased our audience and welcomed many new followers to our blog and website. If you're a new reader or just now hearing about us we thought we'd take a few minutes to re-introduce ourselves. We can't wait to meet you!

We are the Ex-Wives…also known as Holiday & Valerie. We’re tall blondes that share a passion for writing, a gift for gabbing, and...an ex-husband.

Yes, really! Our unique friendship began after we both married and divorced the same man!

It didn’t take long for us to become close friends; more like sisters. It was during a Memorial Day weekend getaway with our kids that the dream of a book was born. Yes, we went on vacation together, and it just so happens our ex-husband let us borrow his portable DVD players AND gas card just to ensure proper entertainment for the children and worry-free gas expenses.

So, WHY did we write The Ex-Wives’ Guide to Divorce?

It’s simple.

We wrote the book we WISHED we had had during our divorces.

At the time we connected as friends, Valerie was in the process of her 3^rd divorce and Holiday was just beginning her journey. We compared notes, color coordinated files, and beautifully designed worksheets to help keep us organized and on track…we created our own personal “divorce binders” because let’s face it, we had wedding planners to get us down the aisle, but when it came to divorce there was NOTHING out there. We googled our little hearts out but the only results we found were legal, depressing, and quite frankly, aesthetically unappealing books. Divorce is depressing enough, the last thing you want to read is an ugly book filled with doom and gloom…no thanks!

It didn’t take long for us to realize something that inevitably changed our lives forever…

Women all over the world needed what we had.

Aside from the organizational tools, Valerie had extensive experience with the actual divorce process, including attorney interactions, mediation, and financial disputes. She took Holiday under her wing and guided her, ultimately saving her from making numerous mistakes…not to mention thousands of dollars.

Above all, we realized how important our friendship and “ex-wives bond” was.  We encouraged each other, walked each other “off the cliff”, and helped each other see the glass of lemonade half-full. Neither of us had friends who were going through divorce, so we understood each other. And if there’s one thing we’ve learned during divorce it’s this: friends who “get” you are priceless. If you ramble on to your attorney and have a meltdown over your soon-to-be ex the only thing you’ll get in return is a big fat bill….hello, $200/hour.

It’s been just over four years since beginning this journey together, and we are proud to announce the launch of our book, TheEx-Wives’ Guide to Divorce, this month. Our mission has remained the same since day 1: to help and empower women as they navigate through what may be the hardest time of their lives, encouraging them to find their “happily ever after”...with or without a husband.

Stay tuned, girlfriends, for more from the Ex-Wives!

Valerie (ex-wife #1) & Holiday (ex-wife #2)