Love & Christmas

It's Christmas eve and my house is bursting at the seams...there are cookie crumbs EVERYWHERE, dishes (and laundry) piled a mile high, and kids running around like maniacs, stir crazy thanks to 3 consecutive days of RAIN. Yes, indeed, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Last week Valerie and I mutually agreed it would be fun to dish each week following the Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce episodes (airing Tuesdays on Bravo @ 10pm). Well, last night was Tuesday and whaddya know...at some point this week one of our lovely offspring managed to hack into our DVR and delete our family settings...so guess what? I haven't seen it. My parents are visiting from Florida and we've had nonstop Christmas movie marathons every night...last night was no exception. 

If you're reading this blog today with a heart full of love, happiness and Christmas cheer, then congratulations friend, enjoy it. But let's be clear...there are plenty of you reading this post that feel like shit and would prefer to jump off a cliff rather than celebrate Christmas tomorrow.

My first Christmas without my kids was by far the worst Christmas ever. I wrote about it last year, so I won't bore you with the details again, but I want to be honest...those feelings never really go away.

Yesterday I dropped my girls off with their dad and instantly had a pit in my stomach...saying goodbye to them never gets easier, especially during the holidays. They will spend Christmas Eve with him, and wake up with him on Christmas morning. I will call to wish them a merry Christmas only to receive a distracted "Hi mommy! guess what Santa brought us!?", and hang up and cry.

Why?

Because 3pm on Christmas just isn't the same as waking up with them on Christmas morning.

If you've been divorced for a while you know exactly what I'm talking about. If you're new to this dilemma the best advice I could give you is to let it out, cry the tears, and feel the pain. It is normal. And whatever you do, don't sit at home alone. Find someone, ANYONE, to hang out with.

On days like this it's hard not to look back at the ghosts of Christmas past. Maybe you lived in a world that appeared as perfect as your Christmas card and Facebook posts, but in reality it was a crumbling mess. Or perhaps you really believed your marriage was everything you thought it was, only to have it blow up in your face. Regardless of your circumstances, I challenge you to make new memories and new traditions this year.

My Christmas wish for those suffering loss this year is that somehow you receive God's grace and love. Only this will open your heart to loving like you've never known before, and ultimately living like you've never lived before.

This Christmas give yourself the gift of love, and if you have children that are suffering show them as much love as you can. This is truly the best gift of all. Wouldn't it be nice if we could shop online for that warm, fuzzy feeling? At times like this it can be so hard to love...sometimes nearly impossible. What's there to love about being divorced? Feeling lonely? Worrying about bills, providing for a family, and losing everything you've ever had? Not much. But you have to start somewhere.

In writing this post I realize a lot of what I'm saying is cliche, blah blah blah.  You've heard it over and over and OVER again...but I'm convicted to share my beliefs with you.

I'm not in a position to tell you everything is going to be okay and that Christmas will be magical and perfect for you again just like it was once before, but maybe, just maybe it wasn't as great as you remembered it to be. Maybe, just maybe, one day Christmas will be better than you could have ever imagined. On that day, my friend, you will look back and realize just how blessed you are. And all of that suffering, all of those tears cried, awful first dates, challenges with your ex, and ultimately broken dreams, were just a part of your beautiful journey.

Merry Christmas my friends...

Love,
Holiday xoxo