Full Circle...and back again.

"Could you please address these books to Sarah and Melissa? One of them is going through a divorce, and the other one is about to, she just doesn't know it yet..."

I sat at the table, preparing to sign these books, when it hit me like a train. I had goosebumps, my eyes flooded with tears, and a wave of gratitude washed over me. In that moment I realized our journey had come full circle...the words we had written had the potential to change someone's life. To encourage them, to inspire them, and to give them the strength they need to live each day, amidst divorce, heartbroken and filled with fear. The words written from our hearts had power.

Oprah may have called this an "ah-ha" moment...I have since named it a "Thank you, God" moment. Thank you, God, for giving me the opportunity to share my story, and most of all, use my experiences as a platform for encouraging other women.

Last week I got a call from a friend of a friend. I have only met this woman twice, so it was a surprise to get a call from her. After the small talk she revealed her real reason for contacting me. She had just been served with divorce papers from her husband of 19 years. She was heartbroken, terrified, and defeated. "I have tried everything, Holiday, and I just don't know what else to do...He wants nothing to do with me, he won't even talk to me, and he has had a girlfriend for 4 years. I don't want a divorce...I just can't imagine my life without him."

Tears were flowing. For both of us.

As I listened to her story, my heart sank. While I couldn't relate to all of the details of her situation, I knew her feelings were real. The fear in her voice, her unconditional love for her husband (even knowing he has a girlfriend...WHAT?!?!) She was a fighter. She didn't want to give up.

"Holiday, I just feel like I'm in the twilight zone... I'm reading your book and I feel like I'm stuck in the middle of a nightmare, like I will wake up and it will all be over. I just can't believe this is happening to me...what am I going to do?!"

I could relate. There were several times during the process of my divorce I felt the same exact way.
To make matters worse, every book I attempted to read to "help" me figure things out was depressing and nearly impossible to understand (hence why we wrote The Ex-Wives' Guide to Divorce).


During our conversation I felt convicted to share some truths with her. I also gave her some homework. She needed to seek professional counseling and hire an attorney. She needed to put her big girl panties on and get her emotions in check. She needed to surround herself with people who love her. She needed to reconnect with her faith, and allow God's grace to cover her.

Friends, we won't always have the answers or the solutions...but we will always have each other. As Ex-Wives' it is our responsibility to love each other, encourage each other, and remind each other there can be light at the end of a very dark tunnel.

Our experiences in this life are moments we collect over time. Regardless of the paths we choose these moments come full circle. While the pain of divorce may never go away, we can embrace the journey and use it for good...till death do we part.